Tokyo and tech through the eyes of a split pea

Today’s word: Novelty

Salon has an interesting interview with author Helen Fisher on why we act the way we do when we’re in (God forbid) love. As dangerous as it is to generalize the sexes, some personal experiences jive with her comments. A few choice quotes:

What we discovered is that the parts of the brain that lit up and became active when someone falls in love are part of the reward system in the brain. And one of them is the ventral tegmental area, a tiny part in the midbrain, quite far down, that makes dopamine and sprinkles it around the brain. When the prefrontal cortex — the part behind your forehead, the thinking part — realizes that you are not getting your reward, those dopamine cells work harder and pump out more dopamine and you feel more motivation, more ecstasy, and that’s why — think of Romeo and Juliet — when there are barriers to the relationship, you try harder and you love harder.

Men definitely fall in love faster than women — there’s good psychological data on that. And I think that’s because they are more visual.

Women remember. It drives both sexes crazy. If women could forget a few things, it might be better for them. Men complain about their marriages much less than women do; they remarry faster than women do. Throughout their lives women have many more complaints during the marriage. But if men could remember a few things, it would probably be better for them too!

I think we have a real misunderstanding in this culture of the intensity of male romantic love and female sexuality. Three out of four people who kill themselves after a love relationship has ended are men, not women. Men are much more likely because they have fewer friends — so they put more into relationships than women. They’re not as expressive as women.

(not so sure I agree with that last comment…)

The only one way I really know of to kick in that dopamine system and to help spark love, particularly in a long-term relationship, is to do novel things together. Novelty is associated with elevated activity of dopamine and norepinephrine — those are the same stimulants associated with cocaine and amphetamines. Novelty can step up that system. Some people can just go to a different restaurant. You don’t have to go skydiving. Other people, maybe they should.

Read the full article though; it’s pretty interesting.